“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” (Ephesians 5:25).
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4).
“Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.” (Ephesians 6:9).
The authors of the New Testament, or the entire Bible for that matter, were not oblivious to the hard conditions found amongst humanity. They were conscious of the turmoil and pain many people groups have been forced to toil under. As the gospel of Jesus Christ spread, so did the church’s understanding that women, children, and the working class have often been abused in various systems, cultures, religions, nations, time periods, etc.
Jesus valued women, taught them, and placed some on his ministry team. Jesus invited children to come and sit with him, celebrated their simple faith, and loved them. Jesus worked as a carpenter, in a poor village called Nazareth, during a time when poverty was thought to be a form of ungodliness. Jesus’ life serves as a model for his people, for we are to care for both genders, all generations, and every class of people.
Paul, near the end of his letter to the Ephesians, follows Christ’s example in caring for every pocket of humanity. He was not blind to the atrocities experienced by women, children, and the slave-class throughout the Roman world. But he saw how the gospel could redeem all people, including men in positions of power, for the betterment of the new society, the church of Jesus Christ, and, therefore, the world. This redemption is key, for Paul did not respond to what he saw, as so many do, by instigating a gender, generation, or class war. Instead, he saw how the gospel of Jesus Christ could make men better men, women better women, children better children, workers better workers, and leaders better leaders. He saw how Jesus could positively impact marriages, families, and the workforce. He saw, through Jesus’ work on the cross, the redeemed version of all people.
This redeemed version of individual human beings is all important in our modern era, for we often witness the unregenerate and ugly sides of humanity. And, especially in recent years, we are spectators of the terrible things men, especially men in power, are capable of. The temptation every one of us might feel is to dismissively write off that segment of society — all the powerful men are evil! — but Paul did not go there. He wrote as the “offscouring of all things,” a low man serving all people, who believed Jesus Christ could take humans, even men in power, and redeem them, turning them into loving, gentle, servant-leaders who bless everyone in their lives. He saw these men as life-giving trees who provide fruit and shade for everyone who would rest in their presence. He did not rail against them but called out to them to behave as Christ did. This is possible, in Paul’s mind, for Jesus has put his Spirit into each one of his followers, including these men.
A Redeemed Man Loves One Woman Well
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” (Ephesians 5:25).
In an age where wives were often considered mere property, Paul called out the believing men to love their wives like Jesus loved the church. How did Jesus love the church? He gave himself up for her, laying down his life that she might live. His love included his feelings, but also his actions, as he put himself in harms way so that his bride, the church, might have life. Jesus was despised, rejected, acquainted with sorrows and grief, stricken, smitten by God, wounded, chastised, oppressed, cut off, and crushed for his bride (see Isaiah 53).
Paul, in his vision of redeemed men, urged husbands to do something which was uncustomary in that era—sacrificially love their wives. Modern marriage advice might tell a husband to buy gifts or plans romantic getaways for his bride, but Scripture’s advice runs much deeper. A redeemed man is to die for his wife, laying down his life for her. He will allow himself to, like Jesus, leave his place of comfort for his bride. He will, like Jesus, seek to understand his bride. He will, like Jesus, be patient with his bride. He will, like Jesus, devote time and energy to his bride. And, all throughout his life and marriage, he will, like Jesus, die to himself for his bride.
Paul’s vision of a Christian husband is a revelation, for this brand of man was unheard of in Paul’s era. We must work hard to catch a vision for this man today, a self-sacrificing man who lays down his life, loving his bride well. Married Christian men do this for their wives and Christ’s church, while unmarried Christian men do this for their potential future wife and Christ’s church.
A Redeemed Man Brings Up The Next Generation
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4).
In an age where fathers were allowed to beat and brutalize their children, Paul calls out for the believing men to bring up their children without provoking them to anger. Once again, Paul cannot envision redeemed men engaging in forceful, rough, or brutal leadership, but instead saw a kind and gentle role. The Lord Jesus brought his disciples up gently and patiently, and fathers ought to do the same. Christian fathers ought to be, as Christ is for his people, a refuge for their children. Children are safe with a dad who fears God, but not one who thinks he is God.
This gentleness does not mean believing fathers are pushovers, for the one thing Paul told children to learn was obedience. Many parents will do everything but teach their children obedience, instead begging, pleading, suggesting, or manipulating their children into changed behavior. Some parents will give up entirely, allowing the child to decide what behavior is fitting in nearly every moment of life. But a good father is a defender for his children, even from themselves and their childish tendencies and desires. He will gently lead his children towards obedience and discipline, knowing a successful life is full of both.
But they are to give this training and instruction without becoming overbearing and harsh, a frustration to their children. Thermostats exist in modern buildings; they are used to set the temperature. Attached to them are thermometers which show the current temperature. Fathers are like that thermostat. A father should set the temperature in a home or family and should set a grace-filled, loving, and holy temperature for his family to follow.
In a society and world where fathers are often maligned, disregarded, and devalued, the new humanity of the church can step forward with a redeemed version of the father role. Many modern dads have destroyed their credibility through lusts, passions, and cravings that have harmed their families. Others have neglected their duties through laziness, anger, and disinterest. And many have left their role entirely, walking out on their families altogether. But in the body of Christ, Jesus’s new humanity, believing men have the opportunity to become marvelous leaders of children and homes. As they walk with God (Proverbs 20:7), delight in their children (Proverbs 3:12), and train their children through healthy discipline, children will grow and flourish into adolescence and adulthood.
A Redeemed Man Leads Humbly, Without Threatening
“Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.” (Ephesians 6:9).
During Paul’s time, in the massive Roman Empire, slavery was a fact. He did not come out and condemn slavery, though he did not promote it either. Buy why not?
First, Christians, who were merely a small, politically-powerless band scattered throughout the empire, had no expectation they’d be able to overthrow it. Paul may have felt this smallness and, for the pragmatic reason that slavery’s overthrow was impossible, refused to take the role of Emancipator. Second, there seems to be evidence that by the time Christianity had spread, slavery was in decline with Romans. Some were beginning to grant freedom to their slaves, and general slave conditions were improving. Third, the plan of God seemed to be to give slavery a slow death, rather than an immediate upheaval, through the preaching of the gospel. Since the gospel gives value to every individual, as more of the population embraced the gospel, more would become awake to the evil of slavery. Aristotle said, “A slave is a tool with a soul.” Only the gospel can truly overturn such a deep level of ignorance. Paul, who quoted Old Testament Scriptures to support his view of marriage and family here in Ephesians, did not do the same for the institution of slavery. He knew it needed to end. Fourth, future generations of believers must apply Ephesians’ teaching, and for Paul to address slaves and masters means that every subsequent generation of workers and employers has it better than Paul’s original audience. If he writes this way to a slave, then the modern worker has no justification for ignoring the exhortation.
But after addressing the servants, Paul spoke to the masters. He told them to “do the same” to their servants. This statement is a shocking exhortation, for Paul had told the servants to “obey” their masters. How could an ancient master obey his servants? By seeking their welfare above all else in those workplace conditions, which would have made the Christian leader an altogether different type of master. He would slowly become the kind of leader others would want to follow. Force would no longer be required.
Believing men and women in positions of power are not to abuse their authority for selfish gain. Instead, they are to see their role as consequential, using it as an opportunity to praise and affirm the people under their care. They are to offer training and clear instruction to their employees, guarding their hearts against bitterness or anger at those they employ. They are not to manipulate or threaten, knowing that their Master, Jesus, is in heaven, watching their lives. Jesus shows no partiality. He refuses to divide over class, salary, educational attainments, or positions within the company. Jesus sees past all that into the heart, knowing each person is a human in need of grace and love. Believing men who find themselves in places of authority must remember the redeemed plan Christ has for their leadership, for it must look different from the cut-throat world system. This leadership style will take creativity, discernment, and faith, but it is possible, for many of the healthiest leadership principles have come from God’s word.
Conclusion
The New Testament writers did not set out to reject, replace, or remove men from their place in society. Instead, they saw Jesus as the head of a new humanity, the church. As he presides over his church, his body, the church responds to his leadership. The way they operate would be altogether lovely and like Christ. Men were included in this plan of God. As they responded to Jesus, he would make them, like him, into life-giving husbands, fathers, and leaders.