Jesus Made a Loving Family (Hebrews 13:1-6)

"Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body. Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.' So we can confidently say, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?'" (Hebrews 13:1-6)

I have many friends in Christ who, growing up, had terrible families. It has always fascinated me how they gravitate to their new family in Christ with such appreciation. For them, it's like they're relearning everything they previously knew about human relationships. The loving family of the church is not stale or old news to them, but a fresh social experiment filled with adventure, risk, and love.

When many hold the church at arm's length, the folks I'm thinking of run towards the ecclesia with great hope and joy.

Today, people are in dire need of this family life and love. In the western world, increasing loneliness has been exacerbated by the weakening of family ties. People move constantly, divorce frequently, cohabitate often, and unhesitatingly devalue the role of both fathers and mothers. This leads to a low view of the family, not to mention a sickness in the family.

Against this backdrop of societal change, along with pressure against the Christian faith, it is crucial for believers to understand and embrace the family of Christ. More than ever, the church must demonstrate family life.

According to this passage, what are some elements we ought to cultivate in our new spiritual family?

Love

"Let brotherly love continue." (Hebrews 13:1).

Love, of course, is to be paramount. This little exhortation -- "let brotherly love continue" -- is not only the first attribute but the one which colors all the others. The following appeals are all fueled by love, an umbrella over all the others.

The word for love -- philadelphia -- means to have tender affection for those from the same womb. And, as believers, we have been made sons and daughters together through the rescue of Christ. He brought many sons to glory (Hebrews 2:10). We must love one another because we are siblings in Christ Jesus.

When Christians began teaching and living this way, it was a radical new life philosophy. Nowadays, people speak freely about loving everyone regardless of color or creed, but in the early days of the church, such talk was unknown to society.

But along came the Jesus followers. They'd heard of Jesus' love for tax collectors, sinners, and foreigners. They'd watched His impartial love for all people. And His cross became the great unifier of every tribe, nation, and tongue, for it declared all under sin and in need of His cleansing blood.

And now, when His blood is applied to a human soul, they enter into the family of God. They are both born of the Spirit and adopted by the Father into this new humanity. The wall of separation crumbles down, not just between the believer and God, but the believer and his fellow man.

So we must work hard to let this new brotherly (and sisterly) relationship develop into love, and then let that love "continue." It isn't -- the author implies -- a given. Just as biological siblings must expend effort to keep their relationship active, so must the church discipline themselves towards brotherly love.

This love must permeate the church. When it does, we are taken outside our race, age group, income bracket, educational background, and geographic boundaries. Many of the most well-rounded people are Christians who have loved everyone in their ecclesia (church). Those relationships, in turn, shaped them in ways a mono-ethnic, mono-geographic, mono-generational, mono-socioeconomic love could not.

And it is often awkward, sometimes painfully so. Christianity often attracts people who are hurting; when their lives fall apart, the message of the cross begins to find traction. Because of this, and because of the racial, economic, educational, and generational diversity of the church, misunderstandings and complicated exchanges abound. But this is part of love.

To love this way requires time, for love is not a mere feeling, but an action. You cannot live life entirely for the self -- your schedule, hobbies, interests -- never making time for the body of Christ, and expect this love to flourish. To let brotherly love continue requires you to allow Jesus' people into your regular rhythms of life.

But as we all collide together in love, there are Scriptural aids to support us. A healthy understanding of Romans 14-15, for instance, should help the above-mentioned diverse churches. Paul wrote it for a church in Rome which housed every kind of person under the sun. They needed to know how to respect one another's varying degrees of convictions, loving another through respect, lack of judgment, and the laying down of rights. Passages like this one can serve as a great help to brotherly love.

Be Hospitable

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares (Hebrews 13:2).

In the new family Christ created, hospitality is essential, so we are told to "show hospitality to strangers."

But what did the original readers think of such a command? Did they think of coffee and tea? Did they think of an immaculate house with a seating area? Did they think of an hour and a half dinner visit, ending promptly at 8:30?

Many scholars think the author is referring to the need for Christian missionaries in that era and world. Lodging, especially at inns, was often, if available, expensive, and often had a bad reputation. These conditions were hardly conducive to missionaries attempting to spread the gospel of Christ. So they were told to open their homes for the cause, to people who, though brothers and sisters in Christ, were still "strangers."

So, they were to use their homes for gospel advancement. What does this mean for us? How can we use our homes to spread the gospel in our own era? And, since their hospitality was designed to fix a problem, what problems can our hospitality address?

We can use our homes as a place to exemplify the Christian life to others. In our age, people are in dire need of human connection, for it's through interactions with others we learn how to do life. Families can serve others who'd like to have children someday by showing them what family life looks like, or by opening their homes to those who miss those days. Married couples help unmarried people by providing a space for friendship regardless of marital status. Established and older believers can provide a place of refuge for younger believers swimming in the tumultuous waters of life.

We can also use our homes as places of refuge. Life is difficult, and a Christian home can provide a space for respite and reflection and community. This helps bolster a person for the pains of life. Through hospitality like this, loneliness is thwarted, singleness is well navigated, and Christian conversation flourishes.

We can also use our homes as centers for evangelism. Some will be gifted to share their faith and testimony with others in their homes, while all should be able to demonstrate kindness and love through their hospitality. Your home might be the space you use to help the "big-scary Christian" become less intimidating. Your home might give you a platform to share your love with another.

We can also use our homes as centers for disciple-making. You see, people need examples and models to follow. Often, in the home, people can watch the real you. Your priorities are visible, usually just by casually looking around the house. But as you live in front of your guests - parenting, praying, talking, spending, being married or unmarried - you are showing them how the Christian life unfolds in your context. For people who have had terrible role models, this form of discipleship is particularly helpful.

But to be hospitable, you cannot fill your life up to the absolute max. If you spend and schedule all your money and time away, you'll have no room for hospitality. It costs to have people over. It takes time to interact with another human. It doesn't take much, mind you. You don't have to prepare a five-course meal for a young twenty-three-year-old new mother. She might be content to go grocery shopping or fold laundry with you. But as we flow through life, being flexible with time and treasure will allow for more hospitality.

I should offer up a clarifying thought, though, about the statement in our text that "thereby some have entertained angels unawares." I've heard some Christians take this to mean we should be hospitable because we might unknowingly have an angel over. How cool!

But I don't think he's aiming to motivate us toward hospitality with the hope we might entertain an angel. I do believe he is pointing out the happy results some in Scripture found when they were hospitable. Remember the Old Testament. There were times they hosted angels. Abraham did it. Lot did it. In those moments, they opened their hearts and homes and were blessed by heaven.

So the motivation, one which is much more applicable, is the knowledge happy results flow from heaven when we extend ourselves in hospitality. I mean, if you've known John for twenty years, and come to feel he could really use a home-cooked meal, the hope that he might be an angel just isn't there. But the promise of God's blessing and reward as you open your home is.

Remember Prisoners

Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body. (Hebrews 13:3)

Next, our author details another extension of brotherly love by telling us to remember those who are in prison. Now, I believe prison ministry is one of the most Christ-like and loving things around. But, here, in this context, he is not talking about the general prison population, but Christians in prison, and likely Christians thrown into prison for the gospel's sake. Hebrews has already spoken of this persecuted group by remembering the compassion of those who took care of those in prison (Hebrews 10:34).

This leads us to remember there are three categories of prisoners:

1. Prisoners for Christ's sake.
2. Prisoners who are Christians.
3. Prisoners in general.

Each category is worth the love and honor of Christ. We are all made in the image of God, so we must value every human being (Genesis 1:27). This is what makes abortion and mistreatment of the less fortunate so terrible in the sight of God. Every human, no matter how small, no matter what their age, and no matter their location or life-status, is worthy of respect because God has put His image on them.

So our author tells us to remember the prisoners. Clearly, he does not mean we should have a mere recollection, a few thoughts, about prisoners. Instead, he means we should act out, intend to help and serve the prisoner. Opportunities for hospitality will find you, but prisoners need you to find them.

Here are some ways to remember those in prison:

• Help, with time or treasure, a well-regarded prison ministry.
• Support the creation and dispensing of Christian media. Prisoners often consume video, audio, and print teaching, but these formats require financial support to get the word out. When you support Christian media, you support prisoners.
• Get involved with, or support, ministries which aid parolees. Especially for someone who has been incarcerated for a long time, life on the outside can be difficult, and ministries like these can curb recidivism and increase discipleship.
• Have a welcoming spirit. Whether you know someone has been in prison or not, a friendly face and warm reception can mean the world to someone who is coming back into life on the outside.
• Teaching and preaching the word is essential for the prisoner because the Word shows us God's attitude. His grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love all elevate the hearer and help them see their worth through God's eyes.
• Shift sinful or inaccurate perspectives. If you think there's no hope for the incarcerated, that your involvement will somehow interfere with their punishment, or that it's just not your responsibility, you should repent of your attitude and lets Christ's love change you. Parolees and ex-prisoners often face a "second prison" where they cannot get ahead in life due to their past. Christians, of all people, should be like Christ and take responsibility for others, hope in Christ and believe a new day is possible, and think of the mercy of Christ by wanting to help ease the pain of their punishment.

Honor Marriage

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. (Hebrews 13:4)

The writer to the Hebrews, in laying out family life in the church, the details of brotherly love, moved next to an exhortation about marriage and sex. "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous."

First, consider the target of the appeal. He says, "All." Everyone is to honor marriage. Married and unmarried alike should think highly of the institution of marriage.

But why should everyone honor marriage? Because God hardwired it into creation. When God created the heavens and earth, He crowned it with one man and one woman. This was God's way of instituting and honoring marriage.

"By the fact that He made but one man and one woman, He indicated that marriage was to be monogamous and indissoluble." - Henry Thiessen, Lectures In Systematic Theology

Any time people dishonor marriage since it is a rebellion against the sovereign laws of creation, society crumbles. The Soviet Union tried to dissolve itself of marriage in the 1920-30s but had to abandon the experiment because of the widespread detrimental effects upon the population. Their society began falling apart. The need to honor marriage is written in the cosmos, but their rejection of this obvious and clear natural law led to chaos.

Even the unmarried in the church should honor marriage. Clearly, a single person should be honored and loved in the ecclesia, and certainly never treated as less than among believers. Jesus and Paul, and other biblical heroes, were single, but this does not permit anyone spiritual pride for their unmarried state. Instead, the unmarried should know healthy churches will highly esteem marriage, teaching and counseling and aiding those who are maritally attached.

Those married in the church should honor marriage in many ways, but the way mentioned in Hebrews is to "let the marriage bed be undefiled." Keeping the marriage bed, the sexual union, unsoiled and uncontaminated, is a significant way to respect the institution.

The common view in our world is that Christianity is repressive and anti-sex, but, though Christians might adopt anti-biblical views on sex, the Bible is thoroughly pro-sex. Consider the following verses:

Proverbs 5:18–19 (ESV) — 18 Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, 19 a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. Song of Solomon 1:2 (ESV) — 2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine; Song of Solomon 4:6 (ESV) — 6 Until the day breathes and the shadows flee, I will go away to the mountain of myrrh and the hill of frankincense. Genesis 2:25 (ESV) — 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. 1 Corinthians 7:3 (NLT) — 3 The husband should fulfill his wife's sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband's needs.

My reason for using the New Living Translation for this last verse is the hesitancy of many other Bible translations to make the passage clear. Instead of talking about sexual needs, they use phrases like marital responsibility, duty, due affection, and conjugal rights. But modern readers might miss the meaning. Sexual needs come closer to Paul's intention.

So Scripture is clear. God is interested in promoting the sexual life of heterosexual married couples. To Him, sex inside marriage is beautiful. It was part of His original and untainted creation (Genesis 2:24-25). One reason it is beautiful inside marriage, but not outside it, is that inside marriage, it is intended to be safe, build trust, serve someone else, lead to a family, and be marital glue. Because of sin, it might not be these things inside a particular marriage, but outside marriage, it is never these things.

If you are married, do not invite impurity into your marriage. Don't allow lust or pornography or abuse or neglect or atrophy into the marriage bed. The fire of sexual love belongs in the fireplace of marital commitment. If put in any other place, the fire harms, but in its proper context, it warms and helps.

Be Content

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for He has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?" (Hebrews 13:5-6)

Here, we come to the final exhortation of this section on our new spiritual family. We are to love one another, and this love is evidenced in hospitality, kindness to the prisoners, and faithfulness in our sexuality. Finally, we learn a loving Christian family is to be free of the love of money.

He uses the word keep, indicating a constant battle. Gardening comes to mind, for a gardener must keep his garden free of weeds. He can never say the job is done, that he will never look for another weed as long as he lives. No, he understands victory over weeds one day does not guarantee victory on the next. With vigilance, he keeps his garden free of the unwanted.

So it is with the love of money. Like a weed, it festers and grows. Just when we think it's dealt with, a new angle of attack comes at us. Regularly, our hearts are tempted towards covetousness. We want and want, crave and crave, but we must keep, by the power of the Spirit, our hearts free from the love of money.

And love is an appropriate word. It's not money that's evil, but affection for it, a heart wrapped up in money's promise. In one sense, money is merely a tool, a neutral thing that can be used for good or evil. In another sense, money is morally good, for it is a mark of humanity. It sets us apart from the animal kingdom, enables us to establish working communities together, helps us provide for ourselves and others, and can be useful at attacking poverty.

In countless ways, someone can glorify God with their money. We can imitate His wisdom and dominion, as He told us to do in Genesis 1, with money. We can imitate His independence by meeting our own needs with money. We can imitate God's mercy and love by giving to others or a gospel-centered church. Still, it can also be used for evil.

The love of money, however, has nothing to do with having or not having it. One can love money without having a dime to their name, or lifetimes worth of savings. With it, wealthy people could be tempted towards pride, self-indulgence, or lack of trust in God. Without it, the poor could be covetous, jealous, and refuse to value their own position and calling in life.

So the author, knowing we must root out the love of money from our own hearts, offers two great tools. The first tool is contentment. He says, "Be content with what you have." You might have much or little, but be happy with what God has chosen to give you.

As Paul said:

I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. (Philippians 4:11).

He was a man who'd learned the deep secret of contentment, and he used that knowledge as a powerful ally in life.

Contentment "is essentially a matter of accepting from God's hand what He sends because we know that He is good and therefore it is good." -- J.I. Packer, "The Secret Of Contentment," Wheaton College, 1984

But beyond contentment, the author gives us a second tool, God's faithfulness. To make this point, he quotes from two Old Testament passages, one from Joshua and another from the Psalms. In both, the faithfulness of God to care for His people is highlighted. Our author felt the same thing. God had cared for him, and he knew God would care for all His children.

He believed God would provide. As the psalmist said, "I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread" (Psalm 37:25).

Close

Hebrews 13:1-6 hold out to God's people the preeminent attribute of the church, which is love, followed by some implications of that love. The author of Hebrews envisions, by the aid of the Spirit, a church community operating in harmonious love. He knows there will be imperfections, obstacles, arguments, and, generally, sin, but he still believes it can be a community of love. He doesn't describe a utopian spiritual community, but a church of real people trying hard to care for one another as Christ would call them.

For instructions concerning this way of living, we have the doctrines and admonitions of Scripture. Hebrews 13 is one such place. Everything before it in Hebrews is doctrinal, but Hebrews 13 applies the previous truths. Let us apply them constantly to the way we live out our faith.