OK. This post might not make it very far. What I mean is, it might only be for a handful of you. For many, what I am about to detail will seem impractical and unnecessary, unhelpful even. But, since Americans average 3-5 hours per day looking at their phones, I thought I would tell you about my relationship with mine.

Some Background

Let me start with some background.

First, I am not a legalist. I think each believer needs to go to their Heavenly Father and ask for His wisdom in the intricate affairs of life. What follows is what I, personally, Nate Holdridge, have received from Him for my life. Not for your life. You'll have to pray about that.

Second, the conclusions I've come to are not because I am strong, but because I am weak. I did not grow up with access to the internet. But once it came into my life, and once the first iPhone was released, I realized how easily distracted I can be. My mind is always looking for a way to disengage, and my phone, in past years, was a significant source of distraction. I felt powerless to do anything to stop my distraction.

Third, I do not always faithfully keep the standards and systems I've put in place to keep me from having an unhealthy relationship with my phone. As I said, I am prone to distraction, so there are times the best plan and system fails. But it's me that is failing in those moments, not the system.

Fourth, I believe real transformation comes not with rules, guides, and regulations, but from the Spirit. As I've walked with Him, I have changed and grown. The focus and discipline I have today is not the amount I had ten years ago. He has been faithful to transform my life. Ultimately, my rules and guidelines are only there to help create an atmosphere for the Spirit's perfect work in my heart.

Fifth, the plans and ideas I've applied to my phone-life have been fostered by great books and articles over the years. I am particularly thankful for Margin by Dr. Richard Swenson, Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport, The Shallows by Nicholas Carr, The Tech-Wise Family by Andy Crouch, and a myriad of books on the spiritual disciplines, marriage, writing, and leadership.

Sixth, at some point during this article, you will likely wonder why I don't just get an old school flip phone -- with text and talk only -- and call it a day. This is a great question, and I have gone through seasons where I turned to a "dumb" phone to help me get my focus back. But the reason I use a smartphone today is simple: I enjoy the parts of smartphones which make life better. By better, I mean, more informed, organized, and present. So I have a smartphone for phone calls, texting, music, picture taking, podcasts, audiobooks, Kindle, GPS directions, and organization (calendar, notes, tasks, etc.).

What I've Done

Though I've decided I want my phone to provide the above-mentioned benefits, I have also discovered my phone can also provide a minefield of distraction. Social media, messaging apps, email, YouTube, and the internet browser are the spaces where distraction reigns supreme. Since my brain is easily distracted, I hate having Google in my pocket. Here's what I've done about it.

My goal is simple: make my phone useful, never wasteful. I want to be a man who reads, prays, thinks, fellowships, learns, and loves. I don't want my phone to ever get in the way of that type of life.

Here are the steps I've taken:

1. Install Covenant Eyes:

This app/service monitors all my web activity, forwarding the results to my wife and accountability partners.

2. Install Freedom:

This app allows me to preschedule blocks of time where the various apps and the internet itself are disabled.

3. Disable specific apps in Covenant Eyes:

Christina has a code which enables her to lock down specific apps on my phone. I have her disable YouTube, Gmail, Google search, and internet browser. I cannot use them at all, ever.

4. Disable the app store in Covenant Eyes:

Again, Christina does this for me. She uses her password to lock the store from my access. This keeps me from adding a time-wasting app I just don't need. If I actually need to add an app, she can unlock the store for that purpose.

These have just never been a good idea for me. I like my brain and sanity too much to have these little distraction generators at my fingertips. And with my app store disabled by Christina, I cannot hop back on and re-download any social media apps. I am locked out.

6. Setup study blocks in Freedom:

There are other apps and services which accomplish what Freedom does, but I love the way this software works. It sits on my computer and phone. I choose predetermined blocks of time it will restrict the internet and specific apps. For me, this means daily from 5:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. my devices are pure utilities. I cannot turn to them for any online distractions. Totally locked down.

7. Create a minimalist home screen:

As an Android user, I use a launcher to help me create a very minimalistic home screen with a handful of bare essential apps available. If I need to access an app that's not on the home screen, I have to go into the app drawer to find it. It might take a little longer to find the apps I need, but at least I'm not as easily distracted into checking and app I really don't need to check.

Bonus -- Go grayscale:

My final step is to set my screen to grayscale. If I want to look at photos or videos, I can turn this setting off, but many think a lack of color pop on our screens keeps us more focused. I've noticed my brain has to work a little harder to find the app I need at that moment, and I like this kind of intentionality when working with my phone.

Presto! My phone is now precisely what I want it to be. It's a library, a camera, an audiobook and podcast player, a music player, an organizational aid, and a handful of utilities (alarms, calculator). And it can do phone and texty stuff.

The Result

This system has helped me become more present. And when I do dip into phone-land, there is a much higher chance I'm doing something helpful or productive. Rather than scroll Instagram for ten minutes, I read half a book chapter. Rather than check all the latest tweets, I listen to a news recap podcast. Rather than get caught in the YouTube vortex, I take in an audiobook.

I become more prepared to think, live, and love deeply.

Dozens of studies by psychologists, neurobiologists, educators, and Web designers point to the same conclusion: when we go online, we enter an environment that promotes cursory reading, hurried and distracted thinking, and superficial learning. It’s possible to think deeply while surfing the Net, just as it’s possible to think shallowly while reading a book, but that’s not the type of thinking the technology encourages and rewards. -- Nicholas Carr, The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains

And, look, like I said earlier, I can become distracted even with this more restricted version of a smartphone I've created, but the distraction and time waste is much less than it would've been if I hadn't taken these steps. So, for me, this works.

Here’s a screenshot of my current home screen.

A major consideration: A myth to debunk

Now, at this point, a basic argument always surfaces. It goes like this: but I use Facebook on my phone to keep in touch with grandma and my friends. This is so great and adds to my life. So I want to have it on my phone.

But this argument is flawed. It says that any positive result in a device or app should make us overlook all negative results.

So if someone wastes 5 hours a week scrolling through social media apps (a conservative estimate), it is worth it if it enables them to reconnect with a long lost friend for 5 minutes. Or if grandma got to see a video from her grandkids, then it's worth the depression often felt after spending time watching a carefully cultivated version of other people's lives. Or if "one of my New Year's resolutions is to read more" turns into "reading Twitter for an hour a day," we often think it's worth it because now we feel up to date on the world's latest happenings.

But just because something brings some value doesn't mean we have to put up with all of its negative ramifications. Instead, we should ask what the total value of a given app is in our lives. There have been many times it would've been helpful for me to have a web browser on my phone, but in those moments I remember there have been thousands of times I would have let myself become distracted if I had that same internet browser. Many times, I've wished I had Google active on my phone so I could quickly look something up, but many more times I have been present in a conversation or group because Google (or some other app) just isn't an option for me. And there have been plenty of times I've wondered about how a friend is doing. Without their social media profiles at my fingertips, I am left wondering. Until I reach out, that is.

I just think if we spend a bit of time considering the effect of unlimited, unfiltered, unchecked access to any and every app in the universe at all times, we might conclude it's not as helpful to our overall health as we first thought. God wants us to be human. Do our phones help us in this endeavor?

One great suggestion for handling social media, if you don't allow it on your phone, is to schedule an hour (or less) once per week where you will hop online and do all your social media stuff. This makes these services just that, services serving you, rather than the other way around.

As Cal Newport said:

> If you’re going to use social media, stay far away from the mobile versions of these services, as these pose a significantly bigger risk to your time and attention. This practice, in other words, suggests that you remove all social media apps from your phone. You don’t have to quit these services; you just have to quit accessing them on the go.> -- Cal Newport, Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World

All these apps have been created to try to get us to click and open AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. I think it's a good idea to combat that temptation by deciding a time and place we will go there (if at all).

For example, I've heard of some who have decided to get coffee on Saturday mornings. At the coffee shop, they log in to all the social media profiles they want to check in on. After their coffee session is over with, they don't get back onto those profiles until a week later at their next coffee session.

Perhaps something planned, predetermined, and structured would be helpful to you as well.

Apps I have:

It's not like I don't have a ton of apps. I do. I just counted. Right now, I have 64. Here are most of them.

Travels apps: Maps, Waze, Alaska, Hertz, Uber, etc. These apps are not distracting in any way and are only there when I need them.
Money apps: Venmo, Google Pay, Paypal, bank app, Mvelopes, etc. Again, only used when needed, tools for life.
Organization/Productivity: Calendar, Docs, Sheets, Evernote
Communication Apps: Phone, Text (I use Textra), Marco Polo, Duo (video chat)
Utilities: Calculator, Clock, Covenant Eyes, Freedom, Find My Device, etc.
Reading Apps: Bible, Logos (bible study app with my digital library), Libby (library), and Kindle
Audio Book Apps: Amazon Alexa, Audible (not a subscriber, but I own some audiobooks), Libby, Hoopla (library audiobooks), and eReader Pro (to listen to documents)
Family Phone Management Apps: Qustodio, Google Family Link
Listening Apps: Spotify, Pocket Casts
Photo Apps: Camera, Google Photos

Conclusion:

Please hear my heart. The last thing I want to do is create a judgemental environment. I have felt compelled to do the above for a few reasons.

First, my weakness: When the iPhone came into my life years ago, I was completely unprepared to have an always-on life. This is how I've learned to deal with my tendency toward frenzy.

Second, my mission: As a pastor, I need my mind. I need to think for long periods of time. I cannot allow my brain to become a clutter of distraction.

Third, my goal. I want to be like Jesus. He was completely present in every situation he found Himself in. I can't see Him sitting across the table from a loved one, all while ignoring them as He gazes into a glowing screen. Love made Him right there, in the moment. I envision Jesus spending time in solitude, without heading into the distraction of His phone. I see Jesus thoroughly engaged in the meditation and study of Scripture, never heading into pointless hours and minutes of digital distraction. And I see Jesus relaxing and refreshing with intentionality, spending time eating and drinking with family and friends, or alone, but not by binge watching YouTube on His phone. I want to be like Jesus.

So I hope this article helps you in some way as you plan with intentionality how you will handle your phone (and other devices). I hope and pray we will all trend towards Christlikeness, mature in Him.