Introduction

Last week we celebrated the glorious truth that God loves us so much He decided to call all believers His children. John wrote: "See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are." (1 John 3:1, ESV).

This week, we have a much more difficult truth to digest. It's this: If God has made us into His spiritual family, we must love our spiritual siblings. Last week, you may have celebrated God's love for you, but you must struggle to show your love for others. This passage gives us practical help on how to demonstrate Christian love.

Remember, though, John's three tests. He's introduced all of them already and will revisit them throughout the rest of his letter.

1. Do I believe in Jesus?
2. Do I obey God?
3. Do I love God's people?

And, today, John will address the third test. He will talk to us about love. From the passage, I am going to draw out seven lessons on how to love, especially how to love God's people.

1. Be aware of the temptation to neglect love (11-12).

11 For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. 12a We should not be like Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother.

The Message: Love

John starts this section by reminding us of the message that we heard from the beginning (11). When Jesus came into your life, when you looked at the cross, you realized His love you. But you also should have noticed His love for the people of the world. Then, after your conversion, you should have heard Him urge you on to a life of love.

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another." (John 13:34, ESV).

A Negative Example: Cain

But we are often tempted to neglect love.

I wanted to this point to be: "Be aware of the temptation to hate." The word hate, though, makes me think of an intense dislike.

But the passage, though it includes intense dislike, will show us a lovelessness on two extremes. At one extreme, neglect of love is manifested in murder. At the other extreme, neglect of love is manifested in indifference. It's not just intense dislike John is referring to, but a full spectrum of a refusal to love.

And Cain stands out as an excellent prototype of lovelessness (12). If you're not familiar with his story, allow me to introduce you. He was one of Adam and Eve's children. He had a brother named Abel. Their parents urged them to worship God, and one day, they both offered sacrifices to Him. Since Cain was a farmer, he offered up some "fruit of the ground" (Genesis 4:3), and since Abel was a rancher, he gave "the firstborn of his flock" (Genesis 4:4). God regarded the sacrifice of Abel, "but for Cain and his offering He had no regard" (Genesis 4:5).

What made their sacrifices different? Why did God receive Abel's and reject Cain's? People propose many theories, but Hebrews gives us insight:

"By faith Abel offered to God a more acceptable sacrifice than Cain..." (Hebrews 11:4, ESV).

Abel's sacrifice was one of faith. Cain's was not. And what is the opposite of a faith sacrifice? One of works. Cain was arrogant enough to think he could earn God's favor.

God's rejection of Cain's sacrifice was meant to instruct him (and all of us) to approach God by faith. Instead, it enraged him. He wanted to kill Abel. A poison was released in his inner being. His soul was infected.

And God pleaded with him:

"The Lord said to Cain, 'Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.'" (Genesis 4:6–7, ESV).

Instead of heading God's warning, however, Cain blew right through it and committed the first murder.

And before we move on into learning why Cain killed Abel, we must consider the process he went through. God told him sin was crouching at the door. Cain was tempted by the evil one, a clear reference to the devil (12). He tempted Cain to hate Abel, to slaughter (the Greek word) him.

And Cain was not oblivious to the temptation. God showed him sin was crouching at the door.

We should not be oblivious either. The temptation to neglect love is ready to pounce.

I remember years ago when I was a crazy youth pastor, another pastor and I had a friendly rivalry. He was the church's worship leader, and because of our duties, we would often arrive at the church campus while it was still dark on Sunday mornings. Our custom was to try to startle the other. We'd slap each other's windows, quietly sneak up on each other, or stand behind a corner waiting to scare the other.

One Sunday, I decided to put an end to it all. I arrived early but parked where he was sure to miss my car. I came in the office, locked everything behind me as if no one was there, and, when I saw his headlights pulling into the parking lot, I set the alarm as a way to make him think no one was in the building. After that, I stood on a countertop, in the dark, right next to his office door. He never saw it coming. As he rattled his keys to open his office below me, I let out the most blood-curdling banshee-like scream I could muster. Thankfully, he survived the heart attack. He then communicated that he'd like our little game to stop.

But while our game was on, I grew to become alert whenever walking onto the premises. I was ready. And it's this type of readiness we must have concerning the temptation to lovelessness. All around us, opportunities to neglect love abound, even at church!

The parking lot is full of cars with people eager to worship God, but I'm angry I have to park far away. The Calvary Kid's teacher who arrived early and attended training to volunteer to serve my kids, didn't pay as much attention to my child as I'd like, so I'm upset. An usher didn't smile at me. A pastor didn't shake my hand. And someone is sitting in my seat!

And if you give yourself to a local church or anybody in Christ, you'll find a million opportunities to take offense or grow indifferent. The temptation is real. Like Cain, sin is crouching at the door. But rather than give in to outrage or detachment, stop and realize the tempter of your soul is trying to get you to neglect love.

2. Be alert concerning your potential for jealousy (12).

12b And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother's righteous.

John continued using Cain as an example by asking a straightforward question: And why did he murder him? (12). Why did Cain kill Abel?

The answer: Because his own deeds were evil and his brother's righteous (12). Cain was jealous of Abel. He saw the favor God gave his brother and hated him for it. In seeing Abel, Cain saw himself. He knew his brother was a good and righteous man. He saw God blessing him. It enraged Cain. And jealousy swelled in his heart.

But instead of learning from Abel's life, Cain lashed out at Abel's life.

This is often how it is in the body of Christ. We can quickly become jealous of others, especially those who are righteous and favored by God.

John touched a sensitive nerve here, since hatred toward another Christian is often prompted by a feeling of guilt about one's own life as compared with that person's. -- John F. Walvoord and Roy B. Zuck, The Bible Knowledge Commentary, 896.

The religious leaders were jealous of Jesus, so they killed Him. The elders and scribes were jealous of Stephen, so they killed him. Saul was jealous of the early believers, so he persecuted them.

And this potential to lash out against other believers because of jealousy resides in all of us. One churchgoer sees the genuine and happy marriage of other members, and begins to despise them for their joy, or begins despising all marriages. Another member witnesses the professional skill and advancement of another, and grows jealous of their success. Or someone sees God using the life of another, perhaps in a way they'd like to be used, and soon they are looking for any excuse to tear down the other.

I think parents do this often. They see a happy family or respectful children, and immediately begin making excuses about how it came to be. And they also excuse their own situation as mere chance or misfortune. Rather than rejoice at the blessings another has received from God, or try to learn from a healthy family, parents' first move is often to tear down the other.

But it's not just parents who engage in this brand of jealousy. Believers of all types can trend towards jealousy of others, and it manifests itself in ugly ways. If a church isn't careful, all kinds of battles will break out. Singles vs. Marrieds, Old vs. Young, Men vs. Women, Pastors vs. the congregation, Rich vs. Poor.

We should instead "rejoice with those who rejoice [and] weep with those who weep" (Romans 12:15), and remember, every time we set foot on the church campus, attend our Life Group, or open up Instagram, that the potential for jealousy is in us all.

3. Don't join the world in hating Christians (13).

13 Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you.

Cain was evil and hated righteous Abel. This brings John to another thought. The world (often) hates God's people. God's church is like Abel, righteous and acceptable in His sight (13). The world, still in their sin, does not have God's favor. It's inevitable then, times will come when the world hates you (13).

The righteous voice of the church, along with its constant message that all of humanity must be saved from their sin, grates upon the minds of the world.

"In ancient Athens the noble Aristides was unjustly condemned to death; and when one of the jurymen was asked how he could have cast his vote against such a man his answer was that he was tired of hearing Aristides called 'The Just.'" -- William Barclay, The Letters Of John, The Daily Study Bible, p. 101

The community of faith should live differently than the world. Our lifestyle rejects greed, lusts, intoxicants, and other sins of the flesh. And, often, like Cain hated Abel, the world hates us for it.

And John tells us this is something which shouldn't surprise us (12). We should expect some hostility to come from the world system.

In contrast, the genuinely shocking event is when other Christians take up the world's posture and join the world in hating the church.

Look, I get it. Sometimes Christians are into weird things. I remember my first Christian rap tape -- it was terrible. And I remember watching Christians hand out leaflets on the perils of sorcery to nice families standing in line outside the showing of the first Harry Potter movie.

I've seen all manner of strange convictions. I've seen rudeness on full display under the guise of mentoring or discipleship or telling the truth in love. I've seen political stands taken up as if they are a stance for the gospel itself.

And all of it has bothered me, but I know I cannot join the world in hating Christians. This is an unacceptable response. The church is a multiethnic, multigenerational, worldwide family comprised of every class you can imagine.

Just as biological families are filled with all types of people, so is the church. For all I know, I might be the strange uncle. Love is the only option. Don't join the world in hating Christians.

4. Recognize loving is living (14-15)

14 We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death. 15 Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.

These verses are customarily taken to mean that it's impossible for a true Christian to hate fellow believers (14). Instead, because we have passed out of death into life, meaning we've been born again, we love the brothers (14). Since Jesus equated hatred with murder, and murder does not fit those with eternal life, to hate Christians means one is unconverted (14, Matthew 5:21-26).

But this interpretation doesn't stand under closer inspection.

• First, if it's impossible for true Christians to hate other Christians, why does John urge us to love one another so often? If it were impossible for us to do anything other than love, we wouldn't need the constant reminders to lay down our lives for others.
• Second, it's ignorant to think Christians are incapable of hatred. The Old and New Testaments are filled with examples of believers behaving poorly towards other believers. This is why we're constantly exhorted to put off things like anger, wrath, malice, and slander (Colossians 3:8) and to put on things like compassionate hearts, kindness, and patience (Colossians 3:12).

Where John's statements trip us up, though, is when he mentions:

• Whoever does not love abides in death (14).
• No murderer has eternal life abiding in him (15).

But, for John, eternal life was more than being saved or going to heaven when you die. It was also the practical experience of having and walking with Jesus right now!

With this in view, it seems possible for a Christian to have the security of an unending life with God, but lack the enjoyment of such a life today. This person is walking in darkness, and because they aren't abiding in their eternal life, they are instead abiding in death (14, 15).

In a sense, what we're learning here is that loving God's people is a way to tap in to your eternal life today. To love is to live.

There are many ways I could exhort you here, but I would like to take a moment to talk to any future ministers of the gospel who are here today. I know every Christian is called to the ministry, but some of you might be called to pastoral or full-time church work.

If not you, who? I am pleading with you. The work is hard. The hours are long. The job is never done. But it is full of life!

And I should also speak to the parents of those who might declare a call to ministry. Do not discourage them. Do not let your heart be filled with fear. Yes, a degree in dentistry pays more than one in theology, at least on this side of eternity. But lift your eyes to the heavens. God is able.

God uses the foolish of the world to confound the wise (1 Corinthians 1:27). Perhaps God will use the little fool who grew up in your house to impact the next generation for Christ. You know God's grace fuels every servant of Christ. Perhaps your child will be included in that ministry empowering grace of God.

Loving makes for a good life. Loving is living.

5. Lay down your life (16).

16 By this we know love, that He laid down His life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.

Fittingly, after reminding us what love doesn't look like, John shows us what love does look like. It comes as no surprise to learn love looks like Jesus.

Jesus laid down His life for us (16). Jesus is the true definition of love. Because of Him, we know love (16). We see it in Him, but we also feel it from Him.

In John's world, there were many words people used to describe various facets of love.

• Eros was the word for sexual love.
• Storge was the word for familial love.
• Philea was the word for brotherly or friendship love.
• And agape was the word Christians took to mean self-giving, unalterable, sacrificial love. It loves without an expectation for repayment.

Jesus is the definition of agape love because He laid down His life for us (16). John then urges us to also lay down our lives for the brothers (16).

But let's talk about laying down our lives like Jesus for a moment. What does it mean that Jesus laid down His life for us? Certainly, John is thinking of the cross. That was Jesus' ultimate moment of personal sacrifice. But did John have more than the cross in mind? I think so.

John witnessed Jesus' life. He knew Jesus laid down His life when He incarnated for us. He knew Jesus laid down His life when being patient with the disciples. He knew of Jesus' longsuffering nature. He saw Jesus patiently teach the masses and His followers. He witnessed Jesus parent His disciples without complaint. He saw Jesus endure Peter's foibles. In other words, Jesus didn't live for Himself until He was 33 years old, and then die for the sins of htee world. During His entire life, Jesus laid down His life for us.

And I mention this because we should not think of laying down our lives as merely a hypothetical moment where we might need to die for someone else. The reality is that to take the bullet once is likely easier than denying yourself a thousand times for others.

Imagine saving to build a nest egg. Pick a number that's impressive to you. Let's say you get up to $100K. Then, imagine God telling you to give it away. What would be easier? Finding one moment or person to give it all to, or giving away $100 at a time, watching your nest egg slowly deteriorate to nothing? But this is how we are to love. Daily, slowly, and continuously.

To die for someone is noble, but to die to ourselves over and over again for someone else is divine. Lay down your life.

6. Keep your heart wide open (17).

17 But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?

The idea of little-by-little sacrifice, as opposed to one big moment of sacrificial death, is made evident by John's example describing how we should love. To see a brother in need, yet close our heart against him, is unloving (17). If God's love abides in us, we will help our brother (17).

Now, I want to give some needed parameters to the love John describes here. First, John seems to be thinking of the people we're in a relationship with in our local church setting. He had no way to imagine a Kickstarter campaign. Second, as anyone who's ever worked in a church office will tell you, verses like these are sometimes used by those who take advantage of others in the church, guilting them into financial support or aid.

How far should our help go? As far as love goes. There comes a point when it is no longer loving to provide support. Where love stops, so does the aid.

But John's concern here was that our hearts would remain open to our spiritual family. And this practical example of love helps us see the importance of having an open heart to others in the church. John sees the person who is unmoved by their brother's need as someone who has closed their heart against him (17).

We've all created defensive mechanisms that close our hearts to others. I watched this happen to a pastor friend of mine once. His story is not as typical as you might imagine; I have known many pastors who could've excused themselves for bitterness against the church but didn't. But my friend gave in. Soon, everyone was the enemy. He had not kept his heart open and soft toward others.

But we must work hard to keep a soft and feeling heart toward others. Keep your heart wide open.

7. Let love be an action (18).

18 Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

I used to play a lot of basketball. On the court, there are usually four different types of players. You have the all-talk, no-game players. Then there are the players who back up their talk with their game. Then you have no-talk, no-game players. And, finally, the rarest of all, the no-talk, all-game player.

John invites us to be the latter kind when he says let us not love in word or talk but in deed and truth. Actions speak louder than words anyways, so let love be an action word. Talk is cheap, but love costs, so let's spend our lives for others.

Paul told Titus we are to be a people:

"...who are zealous for good works" (Titus 2:14).

Let love be an action word.

Applications

After thinking about this passage on Christian love, what are some take-home applications? Here are a few:

1. Don't let your first question be, "How well am I being loved?"

Too many believers read passages like these, or attend church services and groups, and think a lot about how well they are being served. But the mature believer instead looks for opportunities to love.

2. Learn to have a healthy relationship with social media.

It isn't real. The lives you see there are mere snapshots. It's what the poster wants you to see. Sometimes the poster is a poser. But, if our hearts are prone to jealousy, we should be cautious around these little envy-inducing apps and machines.

3. Avoid conversations where other Christians are ridiculed.

In environments like these, Christians of different stripes or convictions or maturity levels are negatively portrayed. Everyone laughs, but you've just invited cancer into your heart.

4. Find a church community to love and serve.

It should be obvious the kind of love John envisions requires a commitment to a group of believers. And I do hope you are committed here at Calvary. Still, I know many float into this church and other churches on the Peninsula -- vagabond believers. Stop! Find a church, even if it's not this one, and commit to it.

5. Ask for the Spirit's help.

The fruit of the Spirit is love (Galatians 5:22). This means we must walk in the Spirit, feed the Spirit, and lean on the strength of the Spirit if we're going to love others well.

6. If you are in the stage of life where you are considering a career path, consider the ministry.

"For the eyes of Yahweh roam throughout the earth to show Himself strong for those whose hearts are completely His." (2 Chronicles 16:9, HCSB). God is looking for faithful servants. Maybe He's looking at you.