Nate Holdridge

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Maturity Profiled 06—The Mature Tame Their Speech—James 3:1-12

This is a famous passage of Scripture highlighting the importance and impact of our words. James has already rolled out his vision of the perfect, complete, or whole human. He has developed themes regarding trials, wisdom, and financial status. But at this point in his letter, James pivots to revisit those themes and unpack them even further. And this passage, one dealing with our words, has to do with the wisdom theme. Do I receive wise words? Do I say wise words? Are my words a source of life or death, building or destruction, blessing or cursing? Is the Father's wisdom flowing through me?

Though James doesn't give many exhortations in this passage, the implication of the text is clear: the mature, whole, or complete person will tame their speech. And tame is the perfect word. If you were to go to Sea World and saw a trainer riding an Orca, according to James, you would be watching someone who had an easier time taming that Orca than their own mouth. But even though James thinks it's a tall order to get our mouths into submission, he does think it's possible. And as he recalled the words Jesus spoke, the way he spoke them, and the things he did not say, James knew exactly what maturity in speech looks like.

James helps us in our quest to become more Christlike in our speech. But before we consider his words, I want you to pause and allow a desire for maturity in speech to invade your life. I want you to long for your words to become lifegiving, course-setting, and exemplary for yourself and others. Crave for your words to be a wellspring of health for the people around you. As the Proverbs state, "The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence" (Prov. 10:11). How does James think our words can become a fountain of life?

1. Raise Your Opinion of the Significance of Your Words (3:1-5a)

1 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. 2 For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5a So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.

In the opening paragraph of this new section, James wanted his audience to raise their opinion of the significance of their words. What we say—out loud or to ourselves—has great impact on us and those around us. He hooked them into his thinking by first warning his brothers (his church family) that not many of them should become teachers (1). James believed in spiritual leadership. He knew teachers were vital in the body of Christ. He himself filled that role. And he knew generations of teachers and leaders would need to accept God's call on their lives. But he also knew the seriousness of the teaching role—it is a huge responsibility. Teachers lead people through words and lifestyle—and they will be held accountable for what they say and do. James said teachers will be judged with greater strictness, meaning their words and life example will be weighed by God one day (1).

But why would James give a warning like this one at the top of an exhortation about our speech? Perhaps there were too many people who wanted to teach in the churches he wrote to, and they needed to know the weightiness of that calling. Perhaps he was merely trying to grab our attention and get us thinking about the impact of our words and lives. But his shocking warning delivers a serious truth: our words are measured by God. Teachers will be judged with greater strictness, which implies that non-teachers will still be judged, albeit with lesser or normal strictness (1).

Not only are our words measured by God, but our words are a sign of maturity. James said that we all stumble in many ways (2). This statement from James serves as a revelation about humanity—he portrays everyone as struggling along in life. No one could ever read James and conclude that he thinks of this as an excuse of some kind, but his superlative statement about people's failures is meant to highlight the impressiveness of maturity. With his next breath, James daydreamed about anyone who does not stumble in what he says—that is a perfect man (whole or mature) able also to bridle his whole body (2). James very much believed we could gain mastery over our words and that, if we do, we will gain mastery over every other bodily action.

Even James himself will highlight the truth that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks (Matt. 12:34). What this means is that if there is poison in the heart, the tongue will produce it. But in this opening section, James is saying it also works the other way around. Mastery of our words gives us strength and power to master other areas of life. It seems that since so many of our actions begin with spoken or unspoken words and thoughts, if we can gain control of them, we will be able to exercise self-control in everything else. This is not only because speech is hard to control and everything else is easier to control but also because so many of our actions are downstream from our words.

In a home, hundreds of devices are powered by the electricity flowing through that home. But if you go to the main house circuit breaker and shut it off, the power from the street will not get into the home. The master supply has been turned off, so electricity will flow. This is the way of our words. When the master supply of our mouths is controlled, everything else, according to James, is impacted. To Dr. James, our words are an indicator of our spiritual health. Just as a modern physician might inspect your tongue as a quick reference point for overall health, James thinks our speech is an indicator of overall spiritual health. All this ought to make speech control a major emphasis in our lives.

So our words are measured by God and are a sign of maturity, but they are also highly influential on our lives. James illustrated this with horses and ships (3-4). A horse is controlled by a small bit, while a boat is guided by a small rudder wherever the pilot directs (3-4). In both illustrations, the larger is guided by the smaller, and that's the way it is with our mouths. What we say, how we talk, what we commit to, what we decline, what we affirm, what we agree to, and the tone we use all combine to direct the course of our lives. It might be small, but the tongue boasts great things—it has the power to exert massive influence (5).

All this to say, we must have a high opinion of the significance of our words. Our words affect us and others. Words have shaped the world and shape our church. God spoke the cosmos into existence. Satan spoke lies into that cosmos. And we have emulated either one ever since.

2. Believe Only God Can Tame Your Words (3:5b-8a)

5b How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8a but no human being can tame the tongue.

Not only should we hold a high opinion of the significance of our words, but we should also believe that only God can truly tame our words. To make this point, James continued to draw from the natural world by referencing a great forest set ablaze by a small fire (5). This is an illustration we can easily comprehend here in California. I grew up really resonating with Smokey Bear's exhortation that only I could prevent forest fires. I was only a young boy when I first heard his words, and I felt it was too big of a responsibility for Smokey to put on me—only I can prevent forest fires. Unfortunately, we know all about how just a small spark can lead to a raging fire that destroys whole forests and communities.

James said our words can be like a fire: the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness (6). As the Proverbs state, "A worthless man plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire. A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends" (Prov. 16:27-28). Worthless, dishonest, or slanderous words can do wildfire-like damage. I once heard a story of a man who felt guilty for the way he had spread gossip about others. He went to a spiritual mentor for guidance, and they told him to take a fist of light feathers and put them on the doorpost of everyone he had talked about. When he returned to his mentor, he asked what was next. The mentor then told him to go collect those feathers. Impossible, he said, They have all blown away by now. And that was the lesson. Words go out, and they do what they are going to do. Once we let the cat out of the bag, we cannot expect it to return.

It is true that many of our troubles in life start with our words. Proverbs says that "a fool's mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul" (Prov. 18:7-8). So many troubles in life can be traced back to an ill-advised text message, a problematic email, or an unwise social media post. Many more can be traced back to offhand comments, words of anger, or agreeing to the wrong things. Rage, abuse, drunkenness, adultery, fornication—at some point, words could have put the brakes on all of them, but too often accelerate them.

It's clear that James saw the impact of our speech. He said the tongue sets on fire the entire course of life, which literally means the tongue is the spinning wheel of birth—this means the tongue is a hub for all of life (3:6). All kinds of good and bad are born from our words—and if our words are like fire, the sparks are spinning out of control! And if all that wasn't bad enough, James said the fire our tongues often start was set on fire first by hell (3:6). As we look at the utter destruction so many people have had to endure because of the harsh words or dangerous ideas others have given them, it is hard to disagree with James. Words can be demonic in nature, from the pit of hell. But James is not done. He pointed out that all kinds of animals can be tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue (3:7-8).

This all sounds rather hopeless from James—our mouths are like a destructive and demonic fire that no one can control. But I think James is frank in his delivery and abrupt in his transitions for a reason: he wants us to see the utter impossibility of transformation without God's help. It's as if he's presented the immaturity of our words like the obstacle of the Red Sea, an enemy like Goliath, or like the finality of the grave. But we serve a God who parted the waters of the Red Sea, slayed the giant, and defeated the grave. So, as we consider the magnitude of the problem, we must turn to the magnificent God who can deliver us from it.

But all too often, we think we can grow in the use of our words all on our own. Or we think our words aren't really problematic in the first place. But James should help us realize we can't do this without God's help.

3. Allow God to Heal the Source of Your Words (3:8b-12)

8b It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.

So we must raise our opinion of the importance of our words while believing only God can help us tame them—all this means we must allow God to heal the source of our words. In this final paragraph, James elaborates on the chaos of our mouths in that they are often poisonous and duplicitous in nature. Again, there aren't many direct exhortations in this teaching from James, but while they might not be clearly stated, they are implied. James knows maturity in speech is possible, so he wants us to turn to God on a regular basis so that he can help us grow in this area of life. In this final movement, I want to consider God's vision for our words.

First, he wants to transform our words into good medicine. James said that our words are a restless evil, full of deadly poison (8). But, as we develop our daily walk with God, he turns our words more and more into a source of life. The Proverbs say, "Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad" (Prov. 12:25). And our words can have that healing effect in the lives of others, not to mention in our own lives as well. One of the deepest marks of Christian maturity is the ability to take thoughts captive and bring your own self right back to the truth. We so often preach lies of discouragement, hopelessness, and fear to ourselves. But the mature believer is able to quickly unearth those lies and return to the truth and the joy they have in Christ.

Second, God wants to transform our words into pronouncements of blessing on everyone. He said that our tongues are often vehicles of duplicity, praising our Lord and Father while cursing people who are made in his image (9). What an important truth to consider—even your worst enemy has been made in God's image. He loves them and has a plan for their lives. But, all too often, the same mouth that worships God and sings his praises goes on to curse and revile people made in God's image. Springs do not pour forth both fresh and salt water (11). Nor should our words pour forth blessing on God intermixed with the tearing down of others.

While preparing this sermon, I consulted some old teaching notes of mine on the book of James from maybe a decade ago. And I found that the last time I preached this passage on the tongue also just happened to land on Father's Day. Perhaps this is not coincidental. Paul said that dads must not provoke their children to anger, but instead bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). And so often, it is a father's words that provoke their kids to a response of anger—and sometimes that anger response lasts a lifetime. But God wants to heal us at the source so that we can bless our children.

Finally, God wants to transform our words so that who we really are within is made evident through our words. Just as a fig tree will not bear olives, a grapevine will not produce figs, and a salt pond will not yield fresh water, so a born-again Christian should not bear spiteful, fearful, hopeless, despondent, angry words. We are new creatures in Christ Jesus, so we must partake of God's transformation process so that the newness that is ours becomes our lived experience and reality (not to mention the lived experience and reality of others).

If you are in Christ today, the truest you is dead to sin and alive to God with Jesus (Rom. 6:11). You have been immersed into Jesus and raised to experience newness of life with Jesus (Rom. 6:4). The real you is not the one speaking the terrible types of words James recounts in this passage. The real you talks like Jesus—confident, loving, truthful, sure, hopeful. Like him, you see beyond people's brokenness into what they could be in Christ. Like him, you see beyond this world's brokenness into what it will be when his kingdom comes in full. Like him, you see beyond the lies of failure and loss and know that God is at work. Like him, you are a source of life and fruit. That is the real you, so our aim is to walk with God so that person comes to the forefront more and more, while the person destroying with their words fades to the background.

Study Questions

Head (knowledge, facts, understanding):

  1. According to James, what is the role and responsibility of teachers, and why does he caution about becoming one?
  2. How does James describe the power and influence of the tongue, using examples from nature?
  3. What does James mean when he says that no human can tame the tongue, and what does he imply about the solution?

Heart (feelings, impressions, desires): 4. How does this passage challenge your perception of the impact your words can have on yourself and others? 5. Have you experienced the destructive or life-giving power of words in your own life? How did it make you feel? 6. What desires or longings does this passage stir in you regarding the way you use your words and speech?

Hands (actions, commitments, decisions, beliefs): 7. What practical steps can you take to raise your awareness and intentionality about the words you speak? 8. How can you seek God's help to transform your speech and heal the source of your words? What spiritual disciplines might aid in this? 9. Are there any specific patterns or areas of speech that you need to commit to changing or improving with God's help?